Tayloropolis

The City of Taylor

In lieu of an actual mother’s day post May 12, 2008

Filed under: *slaps forehead*, Alabammy, Farm Girl, Funny, Meeeee — Taylor @ 7:19 am

Since I spent yesterday slaving away in a field (no, really!) building fences and digging up Jerusalem Artichokes, I wasn’t able to do a Mother’s Day post.

In all the glory that is my mom, she must have sensed my lack of being able to post so she graciously surprised me by essentially writing a post for me.

So here’s one from my mom.  Thanks, mom.  I love you very much.

_______

Taylor, your description of “working in the yard” reminded me of your now (amongst family and friends) famous gardening story…since it is Mother’s Day, I feel I have the right to share it with your blog readers…

So…. Taylor (who was around 6 years old) and I were planting daffodils and other miscellaneous bulbs in a newly dug flower bed in front of the house her dad and I were buiding…Taylor stepped back and took a long slow look at the house, the garden, the beautiful woods and the flowers we had planted…

“You know, Mommy…someday this will all be mine, right?”

“Well Taylor…you never know…when your dad and I get old we might have to sell this place to have enough money to take care of ourselves in our old age.”

Taylor looked up to me with her big, beautiful blue eyes and said in her wonderful little Smurfette voice…”Mommy, you don’t have to worry about that. By the time you get old I will be a rich and famous scientist” (she had not discovered history yet).

(Ed.  And also, I hadn’t discovered science yet, which I failed miserably at.  Who knew that science wasn’t about training dolphins and blowing stuff up?  There was like…math and shit.  What the hell is up with that?)

My heart swelled with pride…what a precious, innocent, unselfish child…in my mind I finished Taylor’s sentence…”and I wil take care of you…”

And as I was gazing down on her with the adoring look that only a mother can give to her child she said:

…”And I will put you in the finest nursing home money can buy!”

Aaaaaand…moment over.  It’s a wonder she kept me around, right?  Doesn’t that make you want to run out and have kids, so that they will tell you they are going to throw you in a home when you get old?  What a little darling I must have been.

 

Was that wink suggestive? May 9, 2008

Filed under: City Girl, Meeeee, Uncategorized — Taylor @ 8:25 am

I think my conductor hit on me this morning.

Really…it was completely weird and uncharictersitic of him. Well, not that I’m in a position to know what is and what is not uncharicteristic of my conductor since my relationship with him has a depth not dissimilar to a muffin-top (of the actual muffin variety, not the dreaded clothing-induced “muffin-top“). Our relationship is thus:

Me: “Good morning!” I say brightly. Because everyone needs to hear something brightly at 7 AM.

Him: “Good morning! How are you today?”

Me: “Very well, thank-you” as I show him my pass.

Him: “Wonderful, have a nice day!”

Me: “Thank-you, you as well.”

And that’s that.

Now, occasionally this exchange is slightly different because as the train pulls into the station, he will sometimes get off and I’ll run into him on the platform and we will exchange our pleasantries as I get on the train. Simple, right? And that just the routine we’ve been having for the last several months.

(I go out of my way to be friendly to him because I can only imagine that he has a difficult job. He not only checks my ticket at 7 AM which means he has probably been at work for at least an hour already, but he is also the person that checks my tickets when I am coming home at 5 PM, which means he has had a LONG day. It’s likely that they have a much longer break midday than I do, but still, that’s a long time to be away from your home. And not only is he there for all that time pacing back and forth along the cramped aisles of a moving train, but he’s always friendly to everyone. So I’m always friendly back.)

But today, things took a suprising turn. As I was getting on the train this morning, we had our usual conversation and then he said, “by the way, I really like your jacket.” This is not in anyway unusual because I am in possession of what must be one of the most fabulous, magical jackets in the history of the world. People LOVE this jacket. I am not exaggerating when I say that complete strangers have stopped me on the street to compliment this jacket, multiple times. And remember that I live in Boston, and people on the street here are not friendly. Most of these people wouldn’t alter their path to avoid stepping on an old lady who fell on the sidewalk, much less strop a stranger to give her a compliment. It’s a good jacket, is what I’m saying.

So he says, “By the way, I really like your jacket. It looks good on you.” And then, y’all, then he winked at me.

Weird. And yucky. And (WICKED) awkward.

And now I’m nervous about coming home on the train tonight because he went and awkwardized our casual, friendly exchanges. And I can’t tell, was that a flirtatious wink? Would my 40 year old conductor be trying to flirt with me? Or was it just a friendly, playful wink? But still, does he think he knows me well enough to be giving me playful winks? I think regardless, it has offended my southern sensibilities. Because I am a delicate and sensitive flower. Ahem.

BUT IT WAS WEIRD, RIGHT? Wouldn’t that weird you out?

 

What’s your greendex? May 8, 2008

Filed under: Green me up — Taylor @ 10:19 am

This is a neat little quiz by National Geographic that allows you to test your impact by answering a few multiple choice questions and then comparing it to the “greendexes” of other countries around the world.

I got a score of 50, which better than average, but still not as high as I would like.  When I start getting food from our farm and growing some of our own veggies, it will be higher, but as long as we drive as much as we do, it will never be as high as I’d like.

What’s your score?

What can you do to make it better?

via DailyKos

 

Animal, Vetgable, Miracle May 7, 2008

Filed under: Farm Girl, Green me up, Save the world — Taylor @ 9:34 am

On a lark, I checked out the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, by Barbara Kingsolver during a hurried trip to the Boston Public Library on my lunch break last Wednesday. I count the proximity of this storied and august institution one of the best perks of my job. At a fast clip, and luck with traffic lights, I can get there in 10-12 minutes. That leaves me a luxurious 30-35 minutes to pick up a few books, ponder frescoes, and eat lunch in what I am convinced is Boston’s best kept secret. But before I give away that secret and bring the flocks of my many (read: one) (Hi Rhea!) Boston readers, let me get back to this book I checked out.

Like I said, a lark. I have never read one of her books, though my sister and the woman who is essentially my surrogate mother both like her. The cover caught my eye for two reasons. First, because it was green- green in a sea of non-fiction somberness. And not just any green- it was the green that I am craving. The green of fresh trees and the first precious blades of long-awaited grass that are so beautiful it is all I can do not to fall to my knees and cuddle it to my weary bosom. Second, because of the beans on the front cover that are enormous and beautiful. They struck me. See:

I vaguely remember my sister and the surrogate mom talking about this book the last time that I was in Alabama, but uncharacteristically, I didn’t pay attention (Oh! Shiny!). I caught something about food on the cover so I figured it was a cookbook of sorts. I was right, but only barely.

I’m not exaggerating when I was this book changed my life. And I don’t mean in the way the 90 BBC television series The Vicar of Dibley changed my life (But sweet baby Jesus you all need to be watching this show. It is a RIOT) and I don’t me the way the South American grain Quinoa is changing my life (but also ditto- the life-changing part not the riot part). I mean it truly changed my life.

You all know I’m haphazardly green. I try, but I’m not nearly as committed as I could or should be. I’ve sworn off plastic bags and petroleum-based laundry detergent (that 7th Generation lavender detergent is changing my life- whoops!), I’ve put a bucket in my bathroom to catch the water when the shower is heating up to water my house plants, and whenever Pete wants to drive the truck somewhere the car could be driven, I give him the stare. Like I say, I’m trying.

One of the things Pete and I have recently done is joined a local community supported farm. This is a wonderful (and not new) idea where you essentially invest in a local farm. Instead of getting a money return, you get it in goods- in this case farm fresh produce for the entire growing season. It’s an expensive initial investment- $450 in our case- which isn’t insignificant for us (and by “isn’t insignificant” what I actually mean is “someone get me a damn paper bag! I’ma gonna faint!”). They do let you pay in installments and that combined with a hefty tax return allowed us to do it. The pay off is a large box of produce and eggs every week from June 1st to October 1st, which works out to somewhere around $25/week- totally reasonable, right?

I am desperately in love with this idea for several reasons. They encourage members of the farm to come by and actually help with the work- planting, harvesting, weeding, building fences. I think I must be weird that that sounds so appealing to me, but I am DYING to get in there and help out. I love agricultural manual labor and I miss being able to do it (I worked in the garden and the yard a lot with my parents as I was growing up), so this is like a super extra wicked awesome bonus for me. Add that to the fact that I am getting plant-ripened local produce (and if you haven’t ever had a tomato that was picked off the vine and eaten 20 minutes later, you are missing one of the greatest moments you can possibly have- and I hate tomatoes!) that is 100% organic and that I am helping to keep a beautiful piece of 200 year old farm land out of the hands of developers and I can’t find a good reason not to do it.

So how does this relate to the book, you ask? Well, it was highly coincidental that we joined this farm and the 5 days later I picked up this book, because it’s about the importance of eating locally and supporting community-based agriculture. Barbara Kingsolver and her family took the dedicated step of moving from Arizona to a farm in Virginia and took a vow to only eat foods that were grown locally (like, literally from their yard or their neighbors yards) for an entire year. It seems completely impossible, especially when you consider that there is no such thing as fresh produce in Virginia in December so everything they were eating in the fall and winter was grown, harvested, and preserved in the summer. And it is so inspiring. They manage it and they manage it without a ridiculous amount of strain or hardship and with an abundance of hilarity.

Seriously, read this book. If you think you are making a difference by living in Boston and eating organic produce, just keep in mind that the tomato you are eating in January, regardless of how it was grown and what chemicals weren’t used, came from somewhere very far away. How much energy is used to drive a refrigerated truck from southern California to Massachusetts? Do you really think that organic sticker makes it worth it?

 

Good reads, indeed! April 10, 2008

Filed under: Meeeee — Taylor @ 1:27 pm

One of my favorite things about the commute in is that it gives me a good 40+ minutes both ways to read.  Occasionally I’ll do the crossword puzzle, but I prefer to have a book in my hand.  Because of that I have suddenly torn through my previously large pile of “need to read” and I’ve started mooching off people at work to let me borrow their books.

Today at lunch I took advantage of the spectacularly beautiful day (70 degrees!  Sunny!  First day I haven’t worn a jacket and actually had to push up the sleeves of my very lightweight sweater because I was too warm!) and walked over to the magnificent Boston Public Library to get my library card.  I checked out two books which should last me into next week. 

If you want to keep up with my reading or need some inspiration, you can stalk me over at Goodreads.com, which lets you build your own library and let your friends know what you’re reading and recommending.  In fact, please stalk me because at the moment I only have one friend and it’s my sister so she is kinda required to take pity on me.  I feel pretty lame.  I’m username “tayloropolis” and my email is tayloropolis at gmail dot com.  Here’s my profile

BE MY FRIEND! 

 

 

I need some inspiration April 10, 2008

Filed under: Meeeee — Taylor @ 8:27 am

I’ve been trying to make an actual effort to update this blog more often, which is why I’ve been regailing you with the ever exciting topics of shoes.  And poop.  Hooboy. 

But the thing is, I really don’t feel like I have much to say.   I’ve been doing stuff, though.  Last night I went to a surprisingly fascinating lecture about aerial maps of the 19th century at the Boston Public Library, but somehow I doubt that most of you would find that as compelling as I did.   I’ve been working in the “garden” now that my soil is no longer permafrost.   But that’s about it.  Yawn.

So loyal blog readers (Hi mom!), what would you like me to write about?  Give me some topics and I’ll mooch off of your creativity. 

 

 

Poo-y April 8, 2008

Filed under: House — Taylor @ 12:02 pm

You know my house with the crazy lights and the sockets that don’t work sometimes and the uneven doors?

(wait, have I told you about the uneven door?  I don’t think I have.   Here goes: When we were painting back in the fall, there was an odd break between the dining room and the living room that I didn’t know how to deal with.  It was one flat wall, intersected by the front door, but I wanted the rooms to be two different colors.  I had the idea of build a fake cornice over the door using pieces of molding.  Pete’s mom and I had done this with the mantle and had great success with it.   So I bought a few pieces of molding to test with and I discovered that the door-to-ceiling height is 1 2/3 inches taller on one side.  WTF, right?  Once again with the crappy builders.)

Right, so what I’m getting at is that we have some issues with our house. 

But there are other issues…stinkier issues.  We have a bad septic system. 

My condo is attached to 4 others, and our building shares the same septic system.  Even before we moved in we knew it was an issue since there were all sorts of meeting minutes and comments by neighbors and all sorts of guidelines you have to follow (No garbage disposals in the sink, don’t run your diswasher and washing machine at the same time, make sure your toilets don’t run, don’t pour any non-biodegradeable substances down the sink, etc.).  There have been issues with it, but most of it hasn’t effected us.  Our neighbors have reported yucky smells and the pumping truck has been out a few times to…how do I put this delicately…vacuum the shit out of people’s front yards.  That’s it!

The last couple of weeks have been particularly bad for our neighbors but we had yet to experience anything.  I was hoping it was because the system lives under the middle of the building and we are on the very end, but I was being overly hopeful.  Last night we went to Pete’s parents house for dinner and when we got home at 8:45, we just decided we were exhausted and we were going to go to bed early.  At about 9:15 Pete bolted out of bed because he could smell the garbage (which was on the first floor) (in the trash compactor) (with nothing smelly it in) (He has a remarkably sensitive nose…I didn’t notice anything).  After he took it outside, I walked out of the bedroom and was hit in the face with the distinctive, wretched sent of poo wafting up the stairs.  And it was getting stronger by the second.  “Honey,” I said, “that isn’t garbage.  I think its…poo!”

We immediately went into “Oh SHIT” mode (no pun intended!) and ran all over the house looking in every toilet and smelling every drain because I was convinced that a geyser of the poop of strangers was about to rocket through my house.  Pete went down into the basement where he swore the scent was more intense, but he said the washing machine wasn’t stinky, so we never actually found the source of the smell.  It was like it was osmosing through the walls of our house.  So we did the sensible thing and threw open the windows in the bathrooms and in the master bedroom (which we don’t sleep in because the smaller bedroom stays much warmer) and a few downstairs as well.  We turned the thermostats down as low as they would go (because heating fuel is $4.17 a gallon here) and I didn’t want the furnace running pointlessly all night.   We shut the door to the bedroom and cracked a window because Pete was worried about the methane and threw on another quilt.  I was convinced that I was going to freeze, but I actually work up very warm and comfy this morning.  I doubt Pete felt the same way, as I looked over a realized that I had managed to literally cocoon myself with the down comforter and the extra quilt while he was left shivering under a paltry cotton sheet.

At least he wasn’t hit with a geyser of shit!

(and this morning, everything was back to normal with nary a scent in the air)

 

But they were pointy! And clickey! And cute! April 4, 2008

Filed under: *slaps forehead*, City Girl — Taylor @ 11:07 am

I’m not quite sure what it was that possessed me to get up yesterday morning and put on those boots.  It must have been because it was 5:50 in the morning and I have been sleeping like a crackhead lately (I mean…I guess?  Do crackheads sleep erratically? That’s what I’m trying to say I’ve been doing…I AM AN AWESOME EXPLAINER).  My first mistake was probably getting dressed, because for some reason I decided that wearing brown pants and a brown shirt that were the EXACT same color that also happens to be the EXACT same color as my hair, which I wore down, and which is unbelievably long and sprawling at the moment, would be a good idea.  I was almost completely monochromatic, and the color that I was proudly wearing was “poop.”  HOTTT.

So anyway, in my stupor I say:  “ZOMG!  I have cute, pointy boots that are also this lovely poop color!  Let me put them on!”

(but, for real, these boots really are cute.  And, for the record, I really LOVE this color brown, but not when I am Lit-trally wearing it from head to toe)

The key issue about this isn’t the color (which makes it questionable that I am writing about the color so much, right? Once again:  AWESOME AT THE DESCRIBING OF THINGS.) (Jesus. Christ.  Enough with the goddamn parenthesis!  Why do I keep using these?), it’s that they have the little pointy heels on them too.  I do wear heels at work almost every day, but in my other life, heels are a rarity for me.  I love the way they look and sometimes pretty shoes in a store window will stop me in my tracks, but I just don’t wear them.  Before I moved here I wore flip flops every day, even in the winter, but now that I’ve decided I don’t want my toes to turn black and fall off, I’ve taken to wearing Merrils or boat shoes almost everyday.  Heeled?  Nope.  Cute?  Absolutely not.  Comfy? You bet your ass they are!  My  heels that I wear at work actually live under my desk at night, and I just change when I get here, so I never actually have to, you know, walk in them at all.  But I do walk quite a bit every day to and from the subway stations or from the train station if my train gets in a little early. 

I happen to work in a part of Boston that is rather “historic” which is a euphemism (is that right?  “A euphemism?”  Shouldn’t it be “An euphemism?”  That can’t be right though…) for “seriously wrecked sidewalks.”  There are bricks missing and unevenness and slick spots and all sorts of precariousness, which makes for awesome walking conditions.  Especially walking in clicky boots with high, skinny heels.  I, miraculously, did not actually face-plant into the sidewalk, but I was close.  And of course my feet are SCREAMING at me today for it.  Like, owy-owy-ouch, my feet motherfucking hurt like you wouldn’t believe. 

Now I remember why I’ve owned these boots for 6 years and have only worn them 5 or 6 times.  And why I generally don’t walk across Boston in shoes like this.  The warm weather is addling my mind and forcing me to make questionable fashion decisions!  My number one thing I am looking forward to about summer:  breaking out the flip flops again.  It can’t wait.

 

Oh, ye springtime! April 1, 2008

Filed under: Brrrr!, City Girl — Taylor @ 7:44 am

Y’ALL!  It is 66 degrees in Boston today.  It may be grey and drizzily and generally yucky, but it is 66 DEGREES.  I got into the city ridiculously early today, so instead of taking the subway to my office, I walked, the long way, through Chinatown.

(An aside:  Even at 7:45 in the morning, the smell of cheap, greasy Chinese food is one of my favorite smells in the world.  I don’t think I have ever craved Lo Mein so early in the day.)

I am in the best of moods this morning.  I guess it isn’t lack of sunlight that bothers me, but just the bitter cold weather.  I haven’t been in spirits this high since the Fall, which is slightly frightening.  That’s an awfully long time to be in a funk.  No Matter!  It’s April 1st, and surely spring is around the corner (as long as I ignore the fact that it’s supposed to be back in the 30s by the end of the week).  It certainly helps that this morning when I left the house, I picked some of the Daffodils blooming - DAFFODILS!  BLOOMING! - in my garden to send to work with Pete so that he could give them to his Headmistress (She’s Welsh - Daffodils are the national flower of Wales and an enduring symbol for all Welsh people - and Pete just got word that next year he’s getting a big, fat raise, so she’s one of my favorite people at the moment). 

I have never been so happy to see a season coming. 

(OMFG!  Daffodils!)

 

Two things you should do and two good reasons why March 26, 2008

Filed under: Links, Save the world — Taylor @ 8:49 am

Here’s why you should hate and despise Wal-Mart and never ever shop there.  Because they are an evil corporation who made 90 billion dollars last year and yet they are still trying to steal $200,000 from a severeley brain damaged woman:

The Evil!  It burns!

And here’s why you should buy reusable bags to use at the grocery store.  Because this wasn’t supposed to happen for another 15 years.

Splash!

 

A post where I’m actually not being sarcastic. March 20, 2008

Filed under: Politics Good!, Save the world — Taylor @ 11:52 am
I’m sure that by now you’ve all heard the buzz that has formed around Obama’s recent speech  about race in America.   I had seen bits and snippits of it that I caught on The Daily Show the news, but I was finally able to sit down and read the entire transcript.  I’m sure it is much more powerful when you see it delivered by him, but just in case you haven’t had a chance to do so or you don’t have speakers on your computer (like me, ahem) here’s the full transcript.  It seems very long, I know, but do yourself a favor and read it.  It gave me chills. 
“We the people, in order to form a more perfect union.” 

Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America’s improbable experiment in democracy.  Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787. 

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished.  It was stained by this nation’s original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations. 

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution – a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time. 

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States.  What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part – through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign – to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America.  I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together – unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction – towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.   

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people.  But it also comes from my own American story. 

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas.  I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton’s Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas.  I’ve gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world’s poorest nations.  I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners – an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters.  I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible. 

It’s a story that hasn’t made me the most conventional candidate.  But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts – that out of many, we are truly one. 

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity.  Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country.  In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans. 

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign.  At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either “too black” or “not black enough.”  We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary.  The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn. 

On one end of the spectrum, we’ve heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it’s based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap.  On the other end, we’ve heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.  

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy.  For some, nagging questions remain.  Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy?  Of course.  Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church?  Yes.  Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views?  Absolutely – just as I’m sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.  

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren’t simply controversial.  They weren’t simply a religious leader’s effort to speak out against perceived injustice.  Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country – a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam. 

As such, Reverend Wright’s comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems – two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough.  Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask?  Why not join another church?  And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way 

But the truth is, that isn’t all that I know of the man.  The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor.  He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God’s work here on Earth – by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

“People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend’s voice up into the rafters….And in that single note – hope! – I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion’s den, Ezekiel’s field of dry bones.  Those stories – of survival, and freedom, and hope – became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world.  Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories tha t we didn’t need to feel shame about…memories that all people might study and cherish – and with which we could start to rebuild.”

That has been my experience at Trinity.  Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety – the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger.  Like other black churches, Trinity’s services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor.  They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear.  The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright.  As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me.  He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children.  Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect.  He contains within him the contradictions – the good and the bad – of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community.  I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.
 
These people are a part of me.  And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable.  I can assure you it is not.  I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork.  We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias. 

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now.  We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America – to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality. 

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we’ve never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect.  And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American. 

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point.  As William Faulkner once wrote, “The past isn’t dead and buried.  In fact, it isn’t even past.”  We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country.  But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven’t fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today’s black and white students.

Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments – meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations.  That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today’s urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one’s family, contributed to the erosion of black families – a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened.  And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods – parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement – all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us. 

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up.  They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted.  What’s remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn’t make it – those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination.  That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations – those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future.  Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways.  For the men and women of Reverend Wright’s generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years.  That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends.  But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table.  At times, that anger is exploited by politicia ns, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician’s own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews.  The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright’s sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning.  That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change.  But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community.  Most working- and middle-class white Americans don’t feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race.  Their experience is the immigrant experience – as far as they’re concerned, no one’s handed them anything, they’ve built it from scratch.  They’ve worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor.  They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense.  So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committ ed; when they’re told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time. 

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren’t always expressed in polite company.  But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation.  Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition.  Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends.  Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze – a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many.  And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns – this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding. 

This is where we are right now.  It’s a racial stalemate we’ve been stuck in for years.  Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy – particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction – a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people – that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union. 

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past.  It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life.  But it also means binding our particular grievances – for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans — the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family.  And it means taking full responsibility for own lives – by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American – and yes, conservative – notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright’s sermons.  But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change. 

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright’s sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society.  It’s that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country – a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old — is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past.  But what we know — what we have seen – is that America can change.  That is true genius of this nation.  What we have already achieved gives us hope – the audacity to hope – for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed.   Not just with words, but with deeds – by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations.  It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper. 

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world’s great religions demand – that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us.  Let us be our brother’s keeper, Scripture tells us.  Let us be our sister’s keeper.  Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well. 

For we have a choice in this country.  We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism.  We can tackle race only as spectacle – as we did in the OJ trial – or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news.  We can play Reverend Wright’s sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words.  We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she’s playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.
 
But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we’ll be talking about some other distraction.  And then another one.  And then another one.  And nothing will change. 

That is one option.  Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, “Not this time.”  This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children.  This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can’t learn; that those kids who don’t look like us are somebody else’s problem.  The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy.  Not this time.  

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don’t have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together. 

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life.  This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn’t look like you might take your job; it’s that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit. 

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag.  We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should’ve been authorized and never should’ve been waged, and we want to talk about how we’ll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned. 

I would not be running for President if I didn’t believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country.  This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected.  And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation – the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election. 

There is one story in particularly that I’d like to leave you with today – a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King’s birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.   

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina.  She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there. 

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer.  And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care.  They had to file for bankruptcy, and that’s when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches.  Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice.  Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother’s problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally.  But she didn’t.  She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they’re supporting the campaign.  They all have different stories and reasons.  Many bring up a specific issue.  And finally they come to this elderly black man who’s been sitting there quietly the entire time.  And Ashley asks him why he’s there.  And he does not bring up a specific issue.  He does not say health care or the economy.  He does not say education or the war.   He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama.  He simply says to everyone in the room, “I am here because of Ashley.” 

“I’m here because of Ashley.”  By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough.  It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start.  It is where our union grows stronger.  And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.  

 

Please feel free to send me flowers. Springy ones. March 19, 2008

Filed under: Brrrr!, City Girl, Meeeee — Taylor @ 11:41 am

So, ladies and gentlemen, do you know that tomorrow is the first day of Spring?  Like, officially and such.  Do you know that to herald this First Day of Spring Eve Boston decided to punch me in the head by making it snow?  I am looking out the window of my office and there is snow falling.  On March 19th

 I hate this place sometimes.  

This is in no way helped by the fact that my mother keeps calling me to gleefully tell me that it is 70 degrees in Alabama and her yard is just bursting at the seams with the most beautiful bright daffodils you can possibly imagine.  At which point I run out to my frozen plot of scratched-up soil that I call a flower bed and claw at the dirt trying to catch a glimpse of something growing that reminds me that at some point this eternal cold will finally end.  

 Now I’m not allowed to say bad things about my mom.  First, because she gave birth to me without an epidural, Second, because she paid for my thumb surgery so recently, and, Third, because she reads this blog (and, secretly, because she will almost definitely comment on this sentence letting me know that there are far, FAR too many commas in it).  However, DESPITE THOSE THINGS, my mom is sorta mean (please keep in mind, Mom, that this was not the initial thing I wanted to say, but I used my better judgment).  Especially for taunting me with the image of the very Daffodils that I helped her plant and that are my very favorite flowers of all time and that I positively DEPEND on to let me know that winter is O-O-Over.   

I have had it with winter.  I had it by the time February rolled around and we were still in the throes of some of the most bitter cold I had ever experienced.   I had it when  Valentines day (which has always been a Spring-y time for me) arrived and there was snow on the ground.  And now, I have especially had it.  Y’all, it is almost Easter and there is SNOW FALLING RIGHT NOW. 

Can I please re-iterate that I have. Had. It.   I need it to be warm and sunny and I need to lay in the grass and feel the heat of the sun on my face.  I need to wake up in the morning and be hot because of the intense sunlight streaming in and warming me up.  I need my damn flowers to bloom.  Or at least look like they are about to bloom.  I need to wear sandals again and skirts without stockings and I don’t want to panic every morning because I can’t find my gloves and my fingers are going to fallll offfff.   I am done done done done done.  Done.   

 

Ha! March 14, 2008

Filed under: *slaps forehead* — Taylor @ 9:38 am

Just dropping in to let y’all know that yesterday someone got to my blog by googling “old lady porn.”

 Which…eww.  And also they must be crazy dissapointed.  As are all the people who are now getting to my blog because I wrote the actual phrase “old lady porn.”

 

More than you wanted to know about a random subway guy March 12, 2008

Filed under: *slaps forehead*, City Girl, Funny — Taylor @ 1:28 pm

(First:  If already got this on your feed reader, sorry about that.  I formatted it all wrong and didn’t realize it until it was sent out.  Also, I know that the font is weird looking and small.  Sorry about that, too) 

Ok.  I know things are getting bad when my mom starts calling me to harass me about the fact that I haven’t updated my blog in a fortnight.  I mean, at least she isn’t calling me to harass me about getting married or having kids or something, because that would get old IMMEDIATELY and I would probably run out and have my girl parts fixed so I couldn’t have kids just to spite her.  Don’t you wish I was your daughter?

 So I’m actually not going to spend this post writing about how busy and tired and worn smack out I am (except that: Y’all, I am so busy and tired and I am worn smack out by all of this!  When does the getting used to waking up at 6:30 5:30 start?  When do I get to be able to actually function during the week and do all the cooking a cleaning and laundry and such that I need to?  Because it’s starting to kinda pile up.  Like, I need to win the lottery right now because this whole working thing?  Not so great.  I wish starving to death wasn’t so bad, otherwise I’d still just do that.) 

But we’re not talking about that, remember?  I actually have a story to tell you about Boston!  So, if you look over in that little sidebar over there you’ll see a link to one of my all-time favorite websites: Overheard in New York.  If you haven’t been there before, then you should probably do that (and by do that I mean WHY IN THE HELL AREN’T YOU TAKING MY WEBSITE RECOMMENDATIONS SERIOUSLY??).  This website is a collection of thousands and thousands of random snippets over conversations that have been overheard around the city of New York (they’ve also branched out now into an “overheard everywhere” site, but I haven’t really been checking that one much.  The “overheard in the office” is also very funny).  Some of them are funny in their own right, but most of them are funny because they are taken so far out of context that it’s a riot.  Anyway, go look at it for a bit. 

Now as soon as I started commuting (like a big girl!) to work, I was all excited because I figured that I would hear all sorts of hilarious things on the subway . That hasn’t been the case so much, though, because apparently people on the subway are filled with a glum distress that manifests itself with nothing so much as blank and/or bitter stares and the occasional grunt as someone crushes them into a wall or elbow or bar or something else uncomfortable.  The subway rides here are very quiet (and mercifully quick).  They are also very crowded, especially since I am in them at the worst possible times of 8:15 and 5:00. And then, last week, I finally got my wish as I overheard what was one of the most hilarious things I have ever heard. 

I was on the Orange Line at 5:03 and it was very crowded.  Being one of the first people in, I was able to get a seat before the car filled up too much.  A group of three 20-ish guys got on right at the last minute and stood in front of me, maybe 6 inches away from me.  It was very crowded.  One of them was taking about his roommates and he was complaining about one of them. 

Guy #1:  I just hate him so much.  He’s so obnoxious

Guy #2:  Why don’t you just move out?

Guy #1:  Well, I really like all my other roommates and the house is great

Guy #3:  How many roommates do you have?

Guy #1:  Four

Guy #3: How many bedrooms?

Guy #1: Only two bedrooms and we just have one bathroom

Guy #2: Yikes!  That must be really crowded

Guy #1:  Well, it’s good because we all keep different schedules.  We aren’t on top of each other all the time.  I mean, you know, I’ve got time to shave my balls

 Guy #2:  *shocked silence*

Guy#3:  Dude.  I cannot believe that you just said that on a packed train.  Dude. 

I mean really!  Can you even BELIEVE that he said that?  And there were at least 20 people about 7 inches away from this guy’s head!  And he wasn’t speaking quietly!  I thought that I. Would. Die.  I tried SO HARD not to dissolve into uncontrollable laughs that I think I probably ruptured my duodenum, whatever the hell that is.  

 That shit is the reason that I’m willing to get up so early. 

 

Hey…let’s talk about some Democrats! February 9, 2008

Filed under: Politics Good!, Save the world — Taylor @ 11:41 am

Wow, so there was, like, a lot of stuff that happened this week.

Here’s a big goddamn surprise:  I want to talk about the election!

I’m mildly embarrassed to admit that I didn’t actually vote in the primaries (oh my god, she didn’t?  Why does she hate America??).   If it makes you feel better, I surprised myself bigtime.  I registered here almost as soon as I moved and was all geared up to vote, and then Edwards dropped out of the race and my bitter little heart shriveled up and died.  I’m a HUGE fan of Edwards and have been since he ran in the 2004 election.  I wasn’t necessarily surprised that he dropped out, but I really wanted to be able to vote for him so I was hoping that he would hang in there for a few more weeks.

And then I was faced with the two other candidates which I hadn’t thought much about (well, that isn’t actually accurate.  I’ve spent a great deal of time listening to them debate and following their campaigns and cheering them on, but since I was an Edwards gal, I hadn’t really thought about supporting either one of them).  So here’s my problem:  I like both of them.  Immensely.  I think that they are both amazing and inspiring and passionate and brilliant and I would be 100,000% behind either one of them if they got the nomination, but I couldn’t choose.  If I voted for Obama, I would have felt like I was betraying Hillary and if I voted for Hillary, I would have felt the same betrayal towards Obama.  I was simply torn.  For the days leading up to the election and the day of, I waffled back and forth between the two, but by the time I was getting home and I drove past the polling place, I still didn’t have one chosen, so I just didn’t vote.

It seems kinda terrible, I know, but I just couldn’t decide.  And to make myself feel better about it here are my other excuses:

1.  Uhhhh…primary!  It’s not like this is the actual election.

2.  Uhhhh…Massachusetts?  Even despite the very high profile endorsements of the Kennedys*, Gov. Deval Patrick, and Treebeard himself, Massachusetts was still polling heavily for Clinton.   It wasn’t like it was going to be a big surprise who won.   And it wasn’t.

But then I saw the returns, and Hillary (narrowly) won.  And I was actually a little…disappointed.   So that’s how I realized that of the two of them, I think I support Obama (even though I didn’t vote for him) (and even though I’ll happily and passionately support her if SHE gets the nomination) and I hope to see him running for the top spot.

And also about the election:  I got actual chills when I was watching the returns and realized that in November, this country will almost certainly elect the first woman or the first black president.  How amazing is that?  I NEVER thought we would get to this point in my lifetime.

*Super Fantastic Oh-My-Holy-Goddamn-Moment that I forgot to tell you about:  When we were in Logan Airport two Fridays ago eating Wendy’s, Pete leaned over to me and said, “Taylor, do you know who that is over there?” whilst pointing to an older man with silvery hair in a very nice blue suit and a pink tie talking to two similarly well-dressed but younger companions.  I said: “No!  Who’s that?” and he said: “That’s Joe Kennedy!”

And then I lost my shit (and funnily enough, when I called my mom to say MOM I’M STANDING 10 FEET AWAY FROM JOE KENNEDY IN LOGAN AIRPORT!! her response was”….no shit!?”).  Because I was about 10 feet away from an Honest-to-God Legendary Massachusetts Kennedy!  And since my primary reasons for coming here were:

1.  to play in the snow

2. to contract whatever poisoning you get from eating too much shellfish, and

3. to be in close proximity to a Kennedy, even one that is not quite as famous as some of his relatives

I can say that I have nearly successfully completed my Yankee-Goals as long as I eat just a few more fried clams.