Archive for May, 2009

And also this

It is no secret that I am cold-hearted and icy, so imagine my surprise when this awesome video of elementary school kids singing “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac made rivulets of just-melted blood flow through my veins once again.

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Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day to everyone!  I especially want to thank my Daddy, who served as a Marine in Vietnam.

Daddy, thanks for protecting your loins and allowing me to embarrass you on the internet.

Love you!

Things I learned last night

1.  1 Hour is not too far to drive for awesome Clam Chowder

2.  What a shortstop is.  It is virtually impossible to live in Massachusetts and avoid learning about baseball.  And I’ve tried so hard.

3. 7 pints of Bass is 1 too many.  I shoulda stopped at 6.

4.  Townie bars in Fairhaven, Massachusetts are SCARY.

5.  Unless they have good clam chowder.  And unless I can pick up the tab for our entire party of four (though one of them was pregnant, so she’s a pretty damn cheap date) for under $60.

6.  I have good friends who let me sleep on their sofa.  And who mysteriously get my car from the bar to their house.

7.  I need to start drinking more.  7 beers should not give me a hangover.  I’m out of practice.  See what happens when I leave the south?

!!

Oh my god,  y’all!  I’m back!

So, it’s probably just a good idea to pretend that those last few months where I haven’t written a goddamn word were actually full of witty repartee and fabulous jokes.  We’ll all be better off that way.

So let’s just get all this yadda yadda shit out of the way, alright?

I still live in Massachusetts.  I moved to Plymouth in February and it is practically dripping with pilgrims.  In fact, I actually live with two honest-to-god pilgrims.   No really.  They work at Plymouth Plantation.  How ridiculously cool is that?

I’m still working for my giant non-profit and it still pays the bills and I don’t hate it very much.

And this past weekend I went to Washington DC where I held a meteorite worth 1 million dollars that fell in Egypt in the 1910 and, I quote here, “Burned a dog to ashes in mere seconds.”  Also I held another meteorite that is 4.5 BILLION years old and is literally the oldest thing on the planet.  I’m pretty sure that makes me the coolest person that you know.

Jealous?

And because I’ve sorta forgotten how to be funny in writing here’s a link to the best thing I’ve found on the innernets in ages:  Texts from last night.   You probably shouldn’t read this at work, because it made tears stream down my face and I tee-teed in my pants a little bit.  On several occasions.

Are people still even reading this site?   You should comment and let me know if I should try to revive it.