Daily Kos posted a link to this Hilarious article from Cracked about vile election tactics.
You think this is the dirtiest election we’ve ever had. You are so wrong. I know they were famous for being honorable and straightforward, but the fact is that many of our forefathers were dirt-slingers that would have made Karl Rove proud.
This is not only a good history lesson, but also hilarious. The McCain campaign quietly spreads the feeling that Obama is a secret terrorist Muslim? That’s nothing! John Quincy Adams one released a pamphlet while running against Andrew Jackson that said, seriously, “General Jackson’s mother was a COMMON PROSTITUTE!” Why, McCain’s campaign is positively decent compared to some of our forefathers!
Here’s another choice section about President Harrison (a very wealthy man, thought I don’t know if he owned quite as many homes as McCain) who was running as “the common man.”
There were fliers of Harrison positioned next to log cabins to demonstrate his down-to-earth authenticity. They had parades full of log cabin floats to celebrate Harrison. The business of log-cabin-shaped whiskey flasks fucking exploded. Had “I keep my shit real” been a relevant expression at the time, Harrison would’ve been widely acknowledged for the extreme realness with which he kept his shit.
The people absolutely loved it.
But here’s the thing: Harrison’s shit was far from real; it was practically hologram shit. Harrison didn’t live in a log cabin or drink hard cider. He had acres and acres of land. He lived in Ohio. In a mansion. Did that stop anyone from praising his log-cabin-ness? Absolutely not.
This is an awesome article, especially for those history lovers among you. It’s NSFW due to language, but you need to read it. If you don’t, I’ll release a broadside calling your mother a COMMON PROSTITUE. Thy campaign will be wrecked as surely as a hogshead of fine claret fallen off the rear of a spooked-mule drawn cart!