Y’all! I was totally in Alabama all last week and I didn’t even tell you. I am the worst internet-girlfriend ever!
I was going to post when I got there on Saturday afternoon and make some snappy joke about being in Bama, but then my parent’s innernets were all plumb mucked up! Though, truthfully, it’s a miracle they have internet anyway since they live in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Maybe not a Cheeto-Jesus miracle, but a miracle none-the-less. They had a guy scheduled to come fix it Thursday so I planned to do it then.
And then we went to the beach for four days AND I DIDN’T EVEN GET SUNBURNED and that is a miracle which makes Cheesus look like a third-rate Saint helping someone find their lost keys.
What can I say about the beach? It was hotter than the deepest depths of hell. It was so hot that one day we went to Ft. Morgan, a civil-war era fort, and we were able to wander around for maybe 20 minutes before our motor skills started to give out and I started speaking in tongues. I am very much out of practice dealing with the kind of heat that makes roasted seagulls drop out of the sky. Sadly, the gulf was infested with jellyfish so I wasn’t able to swim, but there was a very nice pool and a shady balcony that served as a nice place to spend a few days. And I had forgotten how amazing gulf shrimp is.
We got home on Wednesday afternoon and immediately went to work picking lima beans, planting sweet potatoes, making fig preserves, and harvesting and shelling two bushels of peas. I was betrayed by my father when he told me on Saturday that while we were there we could go pick up goats that he wanted to buy to clean out the brush from a very large new pasture that he just cleared AND THEN WE DIDN’T GET GOATS AFTER ALL. And I wept and rended (?) (rent?) my garments and promised to bring down the heavens upon him but, alas, no one at the goat farm answered the phone.
How perfect would it have been to spend my vacation picking up goats? There is literally nothing that could have happened that would have completed my vacation in quite that way. Going to a restaurant that served sweet tea out of a garbage can? Check. (Twice, in fact!) Making garden-grown fried okra? Check. Almost singlehandedly eating a 12 pound watermelon? You bet your ass check! Going to a goat-farm and buying goats? No check! Booooo! I think you can understand why I wasn’t able to post on Thursday. I was grieving.
Despite the goats, it was a delightful vacation and I’m terribly sorry that it is over. A week went by much faster than it should have.
And today my father emailed me the pictures of the damn goats that he picked up. CURSES!