In other news: The sky has fallen.
I realized that I TOTALLY have something I could be posting about and I have completely forgotten: my garden! (Or, really more accurately, my “garden”)
It currently consists of, in two raised beds:
1.About 9 million onions (the seedlings were so cheap at the farmers market that I couldn’t resist. Also, I didn’t realize that there were so many in a 6-pack and I couldn’t bear not to plant them all) (Aside to my father, and my mother if she gets the reference: I got white onions AND back-up yellow onions, so that I had something to tie onto my belt loop in case the white ones ran out on account of the war).
2. Carrots. And then some more carrots. And also, then, a few more carrots.
3. Four sweet pepper plants.
4. Six pole bean plants which are growing so fast I think they may kill me in my sleep.
5. And yet more carrots. Really, I went a little overboard with this.
6. Two shallots THAT WILL NOT SPROUT AND IT IS MAKING ME CRAZY.
7. Two quinoa plants, which was really silly on my part for several reasons. One, because they are a grain and I am only growing two plants due to lack of space. Two. That is like growing 2 individual stalks of wheat. And two, quinoa grows in the Andes and does best when it gets 8-10 TOTAL inches of water during the entire growing season. They are currently two inches tall and we have gotten about 14 inches of rain the last two weeks. They should be a big ol rotten mess in about two months.
8. Four broccoli plants (they actually aren’t in the beds yet since they need to be transplanted as seedlings in late July and they are happily sprouting on my window seal right now.
9. Ditto for four Brussels Sprouts.
(Wow…holy shit that is a lot of stuff in two 3 X 4 raised beds)
And in various and sundry pots scattered around the raised beds:
1. Six tomato plants in five pots: Two Brandywines (which are pink!), Two Sungolds (which are yellow!), a Black Russian (which is purpley-black!) and one Early Girl (which is…red. Yawn. And also a LYING LIARS with the name. That plant is the only one out of the bunch which isn’t flowering and my Sun Golds actually have the eensiest little fruits on them.) Now this is an awful lot of tomatoes, especially for someone who hates tomatoes (ME) and can hardly abide them in any form, be they processed beyond recognition into ketchup or in their entire, vomit inducing form. Y’all, I am trying SO HARD to like tomatoes and every year I think to myself “THIS WILL BE THE YEAR OF TOMATOES!” so fingers crossed! If nothing else, they are thrilling to grow and the smell of tomato plants in the smell of summer to me.
2. Four more green beans (of the vine o’ death variety) because in my opinion, you can never have too many green beans to asphyxiate you in your sleep.
3. A big pot of Jerusalem Artichokes that my CSA gave me.
4. Two winter squash plants that I’m probably over my head with. They are already out of control and they are only 3 weeks old. I feel like these plants are like a Great Dane puppy that I got on a whim because I thought to myself “But look how cute and little he is! He won’t get THAT big!” and now weights 900 pounds and accidentally crushed a toddler. I’m probably going to need to sneak these into a little glen behind my house and let them go to town because holy beejeezus do these grow fast!
5. And a rapidly failing pot of leeks. Well, they were an experiment anyway. I guess my Welsh blood doesn’t run THAT true.
So! Not bad, huh? I’ll have to get into the Saga of the Potato Plants another time, especially since there was a very emotional development last night that I’m not quite able to face, yet. There was…weed wackage. It was a massacre.
Oh my god, and the whole reason that I started this post was so that I could link to a wonderful website I found called Homegrown Evolution, which is a couple who grows all sorts of wonderful stuff in their California yard. They even raise chickens, which makes me so jealous. I just love chickens and wish we could keep them. Somehow I doubt our condo association would be ok with that ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY KEEP KILLING MY POTATO PLANTS. BASTARDS! Imagine if they ran over my chickens with a weed whacker. Now THAT would be a massacre. I’d have to sic my green beans on them. Anyway! Homegrown Evolution. I wish they were my best friends.