typing has become a challenge

So I had a post all written out. It was long, too. It was all about my adventures taking the commuter rail into Boston on Friday dressed up in my big girl suit for an interview with a big Federal agency, and then spending the weekend in Saratoga NY at a big reenactment. I was also going to tell you about our wonderful trip home on Monday when we drove through the mountains of Vermont stopping at every general store and antiques shop that struck our fancy. I was also going to tell you about picking a bushel of apples in upstate New York OFF THE TREES. It was so incredibly fun and fally and New Englandy and y’all were going to be so impressed with my mad apple pickin’ skills.

Then yesterday I set out to cut up some of those delicious, perfect apples with my brand new sharp-as-all-hell knife. On the VERY FIRST APPLE I slipped and sliced into my thumb. Before I had time to lose my shit, I looked into the gaping wound and thought to myself: “how odd. I’m actually looking into my thumb. I wonder what those stringy white things are.” At the emergency room and hour later, they informed me that those stringy white things were tendons, which I had severed. “Ah Ha!” Says I, “No wonder I can no longer move my thumb.”

So now I’m all trussed up, and sometime tomorrow I get to consult with a hand SURGEON to see what needs to be done.

Fucking New York apples. This is what I get for trying to embrace New England! And now I have a damn bushel of apples sitting in my kitchen that I am afraid to even LOOK AT. Oh, and the best part is, when we got home from the hospital, Pete picked up the apple I had been cutting (and left sitting on the counter) and ATE IT. He ate my severed thumb apple!

Well, at least I know we bought good knives. Their new add campaign should be, “So sharp, they’ll cut clean through your apple AND your thumb.”


8 responses to this post.

  1. OWWW. Tendons are disgusting. That can really ruin a beautiful New England experience. Please don’t hate New England now that this has happened. It was because it was an apple from New York. Next time get a local apple.


  2. Posted by Mike on October 10, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    Ouch. Sorry to hear about that Taylor. Hope the hand mends well. Never would have happened in Charleston, because, well, what the hell is an apple?? Why aren’t you eating peaches (pe-uches)?

    Take care


  3. Posted by Sandrita on October 11, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    Taylor, be sure and let us know what the surgeon says…my poor little girl.

    Would you like an apple peeler for Christmas?


  4. A few weeks ago I sliced a fingernail (left ring finger) off with a brand new Global Santoku while dicing an onion. No permanent damage — it bled like a mofo and looked ugly for a long time — but now it’s growing back normally and is currently in a horseshoe shape.

    And I really did post an Amazon review about the experience– both of the medical professionals I saw commented on the cleanness of the cut, and I figure they know a good blade when they see it.

    Good luck with your doctor’s visit. I have my non-maimed fingers crossed for a full recovery for you.


  5. Posted by Zayne on October 12, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    Here’s wishing you a speedy recovery!


  6. Posted by Tommy on October 12, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    I have no sympathy for you, i’m missing part of my left ring finger. JOIN THE CLUB! who needs full digits anyways?


  7. It’s the week of injury. I had to get stiches on Wednesday from a cut heel from falling glass…
    Get well soon!


  8. Posted by Sean the Red on November 29, 2007 at 1:44 am

    See, this is what happens when you fail to take my failsafe bayonet course. Once you’ve learned the glory of the bayonet, you learn that if it can’t be used to skewer, it’s not worth putzing around with.
    Call me sometime!


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