A) My mother’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom! Thanks for sticking up for me when Daddy told me I cursed too much on my website!
B) Bill Clinton’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Bill! I guess the gift he is receiving is that Bush is constantly making him look better and better by comparison. Cheers to that!
C) Exactly one month until my last day of work, and one month and three days until I set out on a 995 mile drive to my new home.
Here is what I have done to prepare myself for the giant move:
And now, I’m in official countdown mode, and I still have So Much to do. I hate moving. Will you come over here and help me pack boxes? I have some wine I can let you drink. Will you find me a job in MA? That pays well? And that utilizes my degree? And that lets me sleep in until 8:30? And that I don’t have to drive to in the snow? If you can do that, I’ll cook you some chicken and dumplings. And I’m sure if you go downstairs, my neighbors will let you smoke their pot.
(By the way, when you’re down there, will you tell them to turn down the damn music? And also that when they are playing Grand Theft Auto- at least I think that is what it is- that they don’t have to scream as much? Oh! And also ask my neighbor how in GODS NAME he can possibly stay up until 2 in the morning every night and still get up at about 5:30 and go to work WHERE HE TEACHES 6TH GRADERS all day and manage to come home and yet again stay up until 2. I think he might actually be magic. Or maybe he’s a coke-head, too? Whatever…I’m gone in a month anyway)
Right now I am on the ubiquitous quest for boxes, but the liquor stores are always out. I guess I’ll have to wait until the students finish moving in and then just pillage theirs. Or maybe I can just pack everything in trash bags. Or maybe just pile everything on the front lawn and light it on fire. I’m thinking that is probably the easiest way to deal with this problem.
Now where are my matches?