Top o’ the [vomit]

An actual IM conversation I had last night (Names changed to protect the innocent)

Me: I’m actually about to go out, blah.

Her: It’s st. patrick’s day, of course you’re going out!

Me: yeah, but I hate hate hate st patrick’s day, and I already said on my blog that I wasn’t going out! And yet, here I am, wearing a green shirt*, and a-goin’ out.

Her: *gasp*

Her: you have betrayed your readers’ trust!

Me: I know!

Me: I should be stoned to death!

Her: what is the Irish preferred form of murder?

Me: errr…famine?

Me: bloody civil wars?

Me: Bar fights?

Her: I like it

Her: instead of being stoned to death, you should be killed in a bar fight

*yes, an actual green shirt. I’m a poser.

As you can see fair readers, I am a hypocrite. I humbly apologize for going out, despite my best intentions to fight the draw that is drunken revelry. I just couldn’t help it! My roommate wanted to go out for just one beer (hahaha!) and she was bringing along one of her friends who is HILARIOUS and full of redneck adventure stories (people always assume that since I’m from Alabama, I’m always ready with a story to shock and amaze people, but I’ve got nothing on someone raised in the backwoods of S.C.) (I shit you not, he actually told me stories about catching snapping turtles on the side of the road, throwing them in the back of the truck, and eating those little bastards! Damn, I love South Carolina). How could I deny myself such a candid adventure? How?

PLUS! Just a few hours earlier, I bought the cutest green shirt, and so suddenly I had an excuse to wear it. And it’s so cute! And green! Like a snapping turtle!

See:

(sorry about that there, my flash wasn’t working)

And I promise, I only drank good ENGLISH beer, just to spite our waiter who was wearing a shirt that said “I [shamrock] Guinness.” But he had cute glasses, so I still left him a good tip. Here’s our good beer (and that’s a Bass I’m holding in the first picture):

And the good news is, I didn’t get killed in a bar fight! But, I did see 3 girls fall down, a guy try to fight with a bush and then collapse into it after he screamed onto the phone that his girlfriend was “A WHITE TRASH BITCH, GOD!” , and someone throw up into a green plastic bowler hat! Maybe I like St. Patrick’s day after all.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Chuck Boyd on March 19, 2007 at 8:40 am

    I went to the block party at Madra Rua in North Charleston. The best of the varied t-shirts (mainly green) was one that said “I have 6-pack abs” and pictured six beer cans with the clear plastic holder.

    Another fellow had dyed his bushy moustache and eyebrows a bright green.

    AND a mechanical bull was tossing people higher and wider as the afternoon wore on.

    Sure and t’was a grand day.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Julie on March 27, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    Haha that was a fine conversation you had with that innocent person! It looks like you at least had a nice time 🙂

    Reply

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