And here is where I make fun of famous people who are prettier than me!

Oscar roundup!

I saw almost none of the movies nominated this year, which is a shame. I have every intention to, but, you know…I just didn’t. Anyway, I thought this was the funniest Oscars I have seen in a long time. Ellen was brilliant and I didn’t even get sick of her! Jack Black, Will Ferrell, and John C. Rielley were my favorite part. Even Jerry Seinfield made me laugh out loud with the documentary introduction.

I was so glad that Helen Mirren won, as everyone knew she would. She was truly magnificent in The Queen, and is the most beautiful 61 year-old I have ever seen. Note to Alan Alda: Don’t put it on the damn floor! And is to too much to ask for you to memorize your speece? You’re an actor for Christ’s sake! I LOVED the little vignettes they did for the costume design award. Excellent idea. And how cool were the dancers? They were amazing.

And, of course, my favorite moment.

Now! On with the pretty frocks!

-As much as I dislike her, she almost always looks amazing at award shows

-You need to get to the doctor to have that boil lanced, Nic! It’s getting out of control

-I want to own this dress. I love it. She looks beautiful, but her hair is bothering me.

-Love the color, but that is just too much dress. Can you imagine dragging all those dead birds around all night?

-Fabulous Tux. One of my favorite males of the evening.

– Ok, look now. We need to talk. If you have a stylist, you need to fire her immediately. She is lying to you. If you don’t, you need to get one right now, because you are blind. Stop wearing ugly clothes!

– Most beautiful of the night, in my opinion. She looks like a greek goddess.

-I love you. Really I do. This dress is beautiful, but the color looks terrible on you. And also? Your hair doesn’t look very good. But to reiterate, I LOVE YOU.

“Hello. I’m here to eat your soul.”

You look like a tablecloth.

– She looked remarkably uncomfortable all evening.

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